Helping Kids (and Ourselves) Understand Big Feelings

Sensation tracking is such a beautiful way to connect with ourselves—and it’s a practice that can gently guide children, too. Instead of labeling emotions like "I’m sad" or "I’m anxious," we can slow down and ask, What am I feeling in my body right now?

It’s not about fixing or changing the feeling. It’s about noticing. Sadness might feel like a heaviness in the chest. Anxiety might feel like fluttering in the stomach or tightness in the jaw. These are just sensations—passing experiences—not who we are.

For children, sensation tracking can be a tender invitation to explore what’s going on inside. Instead of saying, "I’m mad," you might gently ask, "What does mad feel like in your body?" They might say, "It feels like stomping feet or fire in my belly." Then you can softly ask, "What does the fire need? A hug? A deep breath? Some space to roar?"

It’s a reminder for all of us: Feelings don’t define us; they visit us. And when we pause to notice the sensations they bring, we can meet them with care. For ourselves, it might sound like:

• Where is this feeling showing up in my body?

• What does this sensation need right now? Maybe it’s a stretch, a sip of water, a comforting hand over your heart, or even a moment of stillness.

This practice moves us away from attaching big labels like "I’m anxious" or "I’m overwhelmed" and instead brings us into the present. The feeling becomes less about who we are and more about what’s happening in this moment.

For children, this practice plants seeds of self-awareness and kindness. They learn to meet their emotions with curiosity instead of fear, and they discover that it’s okay to feel whatever they’re feeling. You might say to them, "It’s okay to feel this way. Let’s listen to what your body is saying—it always knows what it needs."

Sensation tracking is about connection: to our bodies, to our hearts, and to the tender truth that we are not our emotions. Feelings come and go. What stays is the love and care we show ourselves and each other in the process.

Part Two:

If you or your little one find it hard to notice or name sensations in your body, this isn’t a failure or something wrong. So many of us have learned to disconnect from our bodies when it hasn’t felt safe to stay present. It’s your body’s way of protecting you, a wise and caring response in hard times. And if sensation tracking feels confusing, overwhelming, or impossible, that’s okay—it’s not something to force.

When the body has experienced trauma or overwhelm, it can lose touch with interoception (our ability to sense what’s happening inside us) - or for children this may still be developing or need support from an OT. This might mean it’s hard to notice hunger, thirst, tension, or even emotions as they show up in the body.

Instead, it might feel safer to focus outward, away from what’s happening inside. And that’s completely valid. So if you’re finding sensation tracking difficult, here are some softer, more approachable ways to reconnect:

Start with Safety Safety comes first.

Before asking yourself or a child to notice inner sensations, start with grounding and connection.

• Rest a hand on something solid, like a table or the ground, and notice its texture or temperature.

• Look around and name what you see: the colors, the shapes, the light in the room.

• Breathe gently and slowly, feeling the air move in and out of your nose or mouth.

These practices help orient you to the here and now, creating a foundation of safety to build on.

Use What’s Outside

If noticing what’s happening inside feels too much, start with external sensations.

• Hold something that feels comforting, like a smooth stone or a soft blanket. Notice its texture or weight in your hands.

• Try gentle movements like swaying, tapping your feet, or walking, focusing on the way your body moves.

• Notice the feeling of water on your hands when you wash them or the warmth of sunlight on your skin. External sensations create a bridge to the body that feels safer and more tangible.

Ask Gentle Questions Sometimes, it’s easier to explore sensations with broader, gentler questions:

• Does your body feel more tense or more relaxed right now?

• Is there a part of your body that feels warm, cool, or neither?

• If your body was like a balloon, would it feel heavy, light, or something else?

• There are no right answers—just curiosity. It’s about noticing what’s there, without judgment or pressure.

It’s Okay to Not Feel

If you or a child can’t connect with sensations right now, that’s okay too. Noticing the disconnect is still part of the process. You might say, "It’s okay if you don’t feel anything right now. There’s no rush. We’re just practicing being here together." Take It Slowly Reconnection takes time, and it’s not about doing it perfectly. It’s about finding small moments where it feels a little safer to be in your body.

Whether through gentle movement, grounding, or noticing what’s outside, you’re building trust with yourself one step at a time. Healing isn’t about making the body feel something specific. It’s about creating the conditions for the body to feel safe enough to show up when it’s ready. Wherever you are in that process, you’re exactly where you’re meant to be.